


Now I Wanna Be Your Dog

by AdorabloodthirstyKitty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Drinking, Humanstuck, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:02:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorabloodthirstyKitty/pseuds/AdorabloodthirstyKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You swear if you don't get some fresh air soon you're going to fling yourself out of the van.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And I'll Be Rockin This Party Eight Days A Week

Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you never thought being a rockstar would get so boring so fast. Well, you're not  _really_ a rockstar, but you play music, and have a following. So you're.. something. You're currently touring, which was really awesome and exciting at first but now it's a little dull. You're somewhere in the midwest and there's not a lot to look at. You've been in this van for pretty much two weeks now,  and you never thought you'd miss crappy Days Inn beds as much as you do now. You turn away from the window of the van you're crammed in and turn to your bandmates. Sollux is driving, looking annoyed with a peppy Aradia sitting shotgun on map duty, listing some upcoming towns and exits. You're in the back with all of the equipment that couldn't fit in the area above your heads that is supposed to be a sleeping area. Which means almost constantly bumping into the drum set, which makes Sollux even more irritable. You don't know how Aradia is still so upbeat, and all you want is to get to the closest motel and sleep for a few days. That seems to be the general consensus of the rest of the van too, which is really great. The clothes are starting to get funky, and you desperately need a shower. You lean back in the beanbag chair you brought from home and pull out your tablet to draw. Not only to keep you occupied, but also because you were thinking of selling shirts, so you were assigned design duty. Not that you really mind. At least it gives you something to do while you're cramped up in this van that's probably at least as old as you. You sit back only to hit your head on the window, making you wince.

You swear if you don't get some fresh air soon you're going to fling yourself out of the van.

As you finally get comfortable, losing yourself in the doodles you scrawl out Aradia perks up, turning to you. "We're here!" she says with a smile, swinging her door open and stretching as she climbs out. You look out the window and see that you're parked in front of a hotel, and you scramble for the door, putting the tablet down so you can finally straighten your spine. Your feet are asleep when you stand in the parking lot, and you move from foot to foot before rolling your shoulders and neck, hearing a couple pops that make you wince. Soon Aradia is going inside to get the keys to the rooms you'd called for a few days ago while you and Sollux start unloading. She heads up to the second floor to find the rooms, unlocking one door as Sollux heads up the stairs with a couple bags, including his laptop bag. It turns out the rooms are right next to each other, because she unlocks the door next to the one she'd just opened, stepping aside while you pull your stuff in and drop it near the bathroom in the back of the room. Pretty soon everything is out of the van, the instruments in the rooms of the people playing them. You leave your beanbag chair in the van because right now all you want is to wash your clothes, take a shower, and sleep. You head to the washrooms with bags full of everyone's clothes, already separated. You sit in the washroom while they wash in case someone tries to steal them, and draw while you wait for them to finish. Once everything's clean you give everyone their clothes and head into your room to shower and sleep.

You're woken up in the late afternoon and head with Aradia to go food shopping. Thanks to your manager you had a good amount of money to take care of food, gas, hotels, and everything else you might need. You head to the closest supermarket and grab all the food you can that'll last a while, most of it being snack food, ravioli, and instant noodles. You make sure to grab some actual food while you're there since you have a mini fridge, grabbing sandwich stuff and whatever else you can think of that you can cook with the little solar-powered burner you have. When you're happy with the haul you head to the checkout counters and pay before carrying the bags to the van, storing the food in your rooms when you get back to the hotel and taking full advantage of the mini fridges in each room. You all head to the nearest Burger King and grab as much food as you can eat, walking away with paper crowns, sundaes, and at least three bags of artery-clogging goodness that you devour as soon as you get to Sollux and Aradia's room. Between bites you discuss the next couple of shows, the last ones before you all head home. You're all pretty excited to go home but even more exciting is the last show. Apparently you're opening for someone but so far no one knows who the mystery band is, not even your manager. This will be one of your last nights in the midwest before you head back for California, and you can tell that everyone is grateful to be going back home. When you're done with your feast and the details of tomorrow's show you go back to your room, brushing your teeth and pulling your clothes off before crawling into bed, falling back asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

 

The next day you all get up late in the morning, changing into your concert gear before loading the instruments in and heading to the venue for soundcheck. It's a little club, similar to the ones you'd been playing all throughout the tour. It was pretty dark, mostly black walls and floors with stage lights lighting over the area the audience would be. There wasn't a lot of room but that was okay, you weren't all that big yet. As you went through the songs you'd chosen to play, a couple of covers mixed with some original stuff, you became more and more nervous. You always were before the shows, you couldn't help it. Soon after practice you noticed how dark it'd gotten outside, the lights in the bar like a beacon, drawing people in while you all headed to the bar to grab some drinks before going backstage and waiting for your cue.

As soon as you heard cheering you stepped on stage, the yelling getting louder as you headed for the front of the stage, fiddling with the strap of your bass before lifting your head to speak into the microphone as the people slowly stop cheering. "Hey guys, we're The Sufferists, and we're gonna play a few songs for you, so shut up." You grin when they yell, your nerves not so bad when they play along. You grin out at the dark faceless mass of people, eyes not yet adjusted to the lights in your eyes. "This one is called 'I See Dead People'." You step back and play the opening bassline as the crowd cheers. This one had been written mostly by Aradia, and it was always a pretty fun way to start a set. You played the fast-pace song, singing into the microphone while Aradia grinned behind the drums, pounding out the beat, Sollux off to the side with the guitar. The song ended with a lot of yelling, and you immediately started the next song, a cover of The Descendents' song "Mass Nerder". By the end of the show you were hoarse, sweating, and tired, signing autographs and talking a little to whoever came up to you. By the end of the night you were all very happy and totally exhausted, heading back to the hotel to clean up and rest for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter name from Beastie Boys "No Sleep Til Brooklyn"


	2. Warm California Sun

Now that you're heading back home you're all feeling a bit better, the tension that had been building slowly in the cramped quarters of the van all but gone. You couldn't wait to flop on your bed, and knew that Sollux and Aradia would agree that it was good to be home. You had finally driven into the valley leading to your home town and you were practically hopping in your beanbag chair, only a couple miles from home. When you finally pulled onto the exit leading home Aradia hooted excitedly, turning to you with an even wider grin than usual. "Home sweet home, huh Tav?" she asked enthusiastically,  and you grinned, nodding as you watched the familiar storefronts pass by, getting closer and closer to home. Sollux pulled up to your house first, stopping in front of the familiar two-story with a grin. "See you later TV," he said, making sure you grabbed all of your stuff as Aradia climbed out to hug you. "The secret show's Friday alright? Two days, don't forget." She kissed your cheek and you smiled, saying you got it as she climbed back in the van and calling more goodbyes as the vehicle pulled away, heading for the apartment they shared. You grab your stuff before heading for the front door, Mom already standing in the doorway with a grin. Your older brother Rufioh came out to grab some of the bags, carrying them to your room as he asked about the tour. You told them all about it and how happy you were to be home, your mom hugging you as she laughed, teasing you about being a mama's boy. You grinned, shaking your head as all of your stuff was loaded in and you could finally sleep in your own bed. As soon as you put everything away you knocked out, giving a happy sigh to finally be back in your own bed.

The next couple of days seem to drag on or fly by depending on your mood, and you're both nervous and excited on the day of the show. Rufioh told you he'd come to cheer you guys on and you felt even more nervous at the thought. You looked up to your older brother quite a bit, and hoped you'd be able to make him proud. In the afternoon Aradia and Sollux came to pick you up, the cramped back of the van not so bad without all of the bags of clothes and food. You all headed for the venue for soundcheck, going through at least ten different songs before heading back to your respective homes to get ready. When you all met up again outside your house you were decked out in your concert gear, excited and nervous as you talked over the set list one last time.

After checking to make sure you all had everything you'd need you piled into the van and made your way back to LA, getting to the gig early as usual. You looked around for a limo or van or anything that would probably hold the band you were opening for but saw nothing that stuck out as you made your way inside. The club was much bigger than the last couple of places you played, even though it was still on the small side compared to other venues. Your instruments were already set up onstage, and you all sat on the edge of the stage, drinking water as you waited for the place to fill up a bit more. It was already getting packed, the crowd streaming in and soon taking up the entire floor as you stood backstage, waiting for the signal before heading onstage to the roar of an excited crowd. Your eyes slowly adjusted as you slung the strap of your bass over your shoulder, looking out in the crowd and soon spotting your brother's mohawked head near the front, giving you an excited grin and a subtle thumbs up before you headed for the mic. "Hey guys, we're The Sufferists and we're happy to be back in Cali!" Cheers errupted from the crowd and you grinned a little wider as you continued. "This is actually our last gig of the tour, and I just wanted to thank you guys for coming out tonight. So, thanks again." More cheers as you turned to make sure the others were ready. You grin as you start the familiar bassline of "She Said", singing in a higher, whinier pitch then your usual singing voice. This was one of the first songs you learned on bass and had always been a favorite of yours, your grin genuine as you began singing.

"Molly likes her handjobs, and Toby's just a fat slob. They get drunk all day and fuck their world away just like we did." The crowd is jumping and moshing already, and a skinny kid with a shaved head crowdsurfs toward the front. You jump down into the space between the crowd and the stage to give him a quick fist bump during a pause in the song, jumping back up to sing the next verse. "Toby preaches kindness, and Molly's just his mattress. They smoke out all night to try to make things right, that's what she said. That's what she said, oh, that's what she said, oh, that's what she said." Aradia sings along during the chorus, leaning forward to sing the 'oh's' with you before sitting back as she continues drumming. By the time the song's over the crowd is thoroughly pumped up, and you grin before jumping into the next song. You go with another cover, playing "At the Atlantis" from Bad Brains, the crowd continuing their slamming and jumping as you sing in the whinier voice again, immitating frontman Paul D. Hudson better than most after years of singing along to their music. The crowd eats it up, a few trying to jump over the barriers and past the bouncers to get a little closer. When the song's over you pull away from the mic, Aradia and Sollux playing a slow rhythm to keep themselves and the crowd occupied while you got a drink before heading back to the mic.

"This next one is an original song, it's called 'Leave Me'." The crowd cheered again, making you grin. You weren't sure if any of them had actually heard of the song but at least they cheered. You start the bassline, playing for a few seconds before lifting your head to sing the opening, your voice no longer the high-pitch whine you'd previously been singing in. You played through the song and a few more covers, playing everything from Dead Kennedys to Iggy Pop, closing with The Stooges' "I Wanna Be Your Dog". The crowd roared and danced throughout the entire performance, and cheered at a near deafening volume as you, Sollux, and Aradia finally walked offstage. You all grin, tired and excited, knowing this was a great show as you head off to rest before the next performance. Rufioh came over to the couches you'd been sprawled out on in the corner, grinning and congratulating all of you, saying you'd been awesome. You couldn't help but feel your chest swell with pride, relieved that you had done so well in front of your big brother. After a while the announcer said something about the next band playing in a couple minutes, not mentioning the name to keep the secret gig secret. You all perked up at that, following Rufioh through the crowd to the front, members of the crowd complimenting you and patting your backs or punching your shoulders playfully as you headed toward the front, stopping at the barriers. You nod to one of the bouncers, the man giving you a smile and a similar head nod before the room went dark and the crowd cheered for whoever was standing behind the drawn red curtains, getting ready to play. The lights overhead come on, casting purple light all over the room as they swerve and sway. A drumbeat kicks in, the rhythm familiar before a bass joins it. You know you know what song is playing, the name on the tip of your tongue but you can't remember. You watch the curtains, still drawn as you wait before finally a guitar joins them and a voice as smooth as velvet croons to the crowd, which has grown hysterical by now. Your eyes widen to the size of planets, your mouth opening a little in shock as you realize who it is, who your dinky little punk band just opened for. It's one of the most mysterious and most popular bands to come out of California in the past few years, and as the curtains finally open to reveal the band all upcoming bands dreamed of being, your jaw drops a little lower, the crowd screaming at a deafening volume as they push forward to get that much closer.

You just opened for the most popular underground rock band in California, Capricious Capricorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "California Sun" by The Ramones


	3. I Grab the Mic And Then I Let My Rhymes Flow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new pov! now at least 500% more stoner juggalo!

The lights always seem so much brighter once you get back to the city, the air cool and all kinds a nice. You wish you could see more of the stars, but here in the city you'd probably be lucky to see a hundred. You sigh as you tilt your head back, leaning up against the  cool glass of the window so you can see as much of the vast darkness of space as you can. The car's pretty quiet, but maybe that's cuz you're all up in your own head, clearin your mind before the show. As you pull up to the venue, a little bar in LA you'd played a couple times when you weren't so popular, you smile, big and dopey before sliding out of the car. You fix your hoodie so the hood covers a little more of your neck and turn to grin expectantly at your bestest of bro's while he gets hisself out of the car and locks it up, headin toward you with his perma-scowl. You can already hear the crowd cheering, and guess you must've either got there in time for the beginning or the end of the show the band before you played. Your manager had told you a little somethin about em, a spunky lil punk band from good ol Californ-I-A. You were eager to hear what they had, and strode into the building a little quicker than your usual slow pace. It looks like you made it at the beginning and you grin, making sure your beanie's covering most of your messy hair before heading into the crowd to watch the show.

 You bob your head to the beat, grinning throughout the show. These fuckers are pretty damn good! And you can't help but study the frontman. He's got a mohawk that looks black with all the product he has to keep it spiked up. He sports a tight pair of dark, holey jeans and a baggy Bad Brains tee with large armpit holes that show off his sides. He's tan and in good shape, and you swear you see some serious muscle rippling under the tee. He looks seriously happy and confident as all hell, belting out covers and original songs like nobodies business. His voice can change from a high whine to a rough growl and you grin through the whole performance, cheering after every song and wanting more when they head offstage, the frontman looking back to give a little grin that leaves your insides all twisted up and your chest feelin tight. Shit that is one cuuuute motherfucker.

 The crowd dissipates and you head away from the group of people milling around as you search for the band. You spot em loungin back on the couches and grin, heading a little closer to get a better look. They're talking to another brother that's probably related to that gorgeous frontman. He has a black and red mohawk, fluffy and rad as hell. He talks excitedly to the frontman who grins, looking tired but happy. You smile before a hand pulls at your jacket, and you turn to find Kar pulling you into the back to get your makeup on. By now you're an expert facepainter, slappin on a skull Dia de los Muertos style, somethin similar to the face the Shadow Man wore when he turned that ukulele-playin prince into a slimy green frog. When you're happy with the bright colors and little details you put your paints down on a little table, hearing Equ drumming out a beat, Kar passing you and heading onto the stage and starting a bassline. You pull off your jacket and beanie, setting them next to your paint before pulling on your baby and striding onstage, strumming the opening and lifting your head to sing for the crowd screaming behind the curtain, muffled and distorted but still pretty loud. The curtains open and you grin, singing to the sea of churning, roaring fans. You close your eyes, grinning as you sing one of your older songs, the crowd going crazy. You love their enthusiasm, and as your eyes adjust you look over the people cheering. A lot of excited, screaming faces. You wonder where that punk frontman is and spot him at the front as you end the song, smiling before looking out to greet the rest of the crowd. "How y'all doin tonight?" You get more screaming as your answer, chuckling while you mess with the strap of your guitar. You nod your head to a beat only you can hear before speaking up again, looking back to cute frontman. "This one's for a cute motherfucker in front row." You grin at him before the beat kicks in, closing your eyes as you bob to the beat, still grinning before leaning in to sing, your voice a little rough and quieter than usual.

You croon Ava Adore, switching from sweet to sneering throughout, but mostly keepin it sweet, bein romantic as shit. The crowd goes crazy, screaming and pushing forward once you're done. You play a song from Agent Orange while you give your vocals a little break, gulping down some water afterward. After a while you amble back to the mic, grabbing it before making your way forward. You ask for requests and hear a few yelled replies, looking to the frontman and his posse for suggestions. You see him yell something but don't quite catch it when someone to your right yells over him and you step closer to the edge of the stage, looking straight at the frontman before holding a finger up, looking around the room as they quiet down. When the fans are sufficiently shooshed you drop down to the floor below and walk straight toward him, leaning forward and asking sweet as sugar if he could get his repeat on for a motherfucker. You sense him move a bit, squirming a little in embarrassment before repeating himself, asking for Nirvana. You grin as you pull away, saying you'd be happy to as you head for the stage and head over to Equ, telling him and Kar the request and the song you wanna do before the beat to "Sliver" starts up and you grin as you sing, belting it out with a grin and screaming your heart out until your throat feels raw.

You pull away when the song ends, the crowd roaring as you look to the cute frontman with a grin, swearing you taste blood. You pray you didn't fuck up your throat again as you continue your set, doing a few songs from your first album with a few covers strewn in here and there, yelling, screaming, crooning, jumping, and leaving everything you have on that stage, just like you always do. But for some reason this gig feels different then the rest. It's strange and exciting in a way you can't describe, and when you play the last song and say good night you pause, looking over the crowd with a grin. "I don't know about you guys, but this has been a really great show, and I can't thank y'all enough. You were awesome, thank you and good night!" you say, beaming as they cheer. You look to the frontman again and see him smile, giving him a crooked grin before the curtains close again and you're left staring at red velvet. Eventually Karkles pulls you by the wrist and you wash the paint off your face slowly and slip out of the building with him unnoticed, as if you'd never been there at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "Grab The Mic" by Mindless Self Indulgence


	4. Shake Off That Chill of Heaven and Come Rest Your Weary Eyes

You're left speechless at the end of the night, floating on a cloud of euphoria as you head back to the van, Aradia and Sollux knowing something's up when you don't answer them or hear their questions, barely feeling it when you knock into the instruments on a sharp turn. You don't know how to explain how amazing this night was. Gamzee Makara, lead singer and guitarist for a band every Californian musician looked up to and aspired to be, the singer of one of your favorite local bands, took your request. And called you cute. You blush a little when you remember that, unsure how you feel about it. You still can't believe any of it happened. You get out at your house and carry your bass inside in a daze, heading up to your room silently and closing the door behind you, flopping onto the bed. You stare at the ceiling, remembering every detail of the night and grinning like a huge dork. This has definitely been one of the greatest nights of your life, and you doubt you'll ever forget it as you finally drift off to sleep.

 The next morning you wake up around 10, hopping out of bed as you search for your laptop, quickly turning it on. You go to the Capricious Capricorn site and find some photos up of last night, not only of the band but of YOUR band too. You stare like an idiot for a while before quickly scrolling down to read the caption underneath.

"Last night's secret gig was definitely one to remember, and definitely something worth witnessing. Not only for the sake of seeing CC, but the band that opened, The Sufferists, a local punk band who's just finished their first tour. The charismatic frontman, Tavros Nitram, never ceased to surprise and entertain with his wide vocal range, singing covers and original songs with the same amount of passion and energy. The entire band was amazing and the members of Capricious Capricorn are definitely interested in playing with this band again. Be on the look out for their first cd, said to be released later this year."

You paused, mouth hanging open, before your phone rang and you answered, only hearing loud, excited yelling from Aradia and the occasional "holy shit" from a much quieter, shocked sounding Sollux. "Tavros have you gone on CC's site yet?? They wrote about us, dude, they have your face plastered across the front page!!" she yelled, squealing again as you pulled the phone away from your ear to save what was left of your hearing. "I know! Well, not the whole, my face everywhere thing, but I just read the post. Holy shit, Aradia, this could be really big. Do you think whoever wrote this is serious? About Capricorn wanting to play with us?" you asked, going to the photo album from last night. There were definitely a lot of pictures of your band, you being in quite a few. It looked like the photographer could have been in the crowd, but it was hard to tell. The pictures were amazing though, and you couldn't help but feel really proud. Finally, your band was getting noticed, and maybe you'd even be able to play with Capricious Capricorn again. This was beyond anything you expected, and now that the shock was wearing off it was actually making you pretty nervous. What if you did play with them again? Would they even remember you? What if they didn't really like you? You tried not to focus on the discouraging thoughts and what-ifs, instead reading over the post again proudly.

You talk to Aradia for a while longer, agreeing on going to the studio to work on your cd later before hanging up and going to your band's site, typing out a summary of last night, this morning, and plans for later today, posting it on the Sufferists site and your twitter account before closing your laptop, shutting it off, and getting ready to head to the studio to record.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from the Blaqk Audio song "Faith Healer"


	5. Dazed and Confused

After a few hours in the studio you, Aradia, and Sollux take a lunch break, going out to a burger place a few blocks away. A couple people even recognized you, going over and asking for autographs and pictures. It was surreal, getting noticed and recognized and stuff, and you were pretty surprised, leaning in for a couple pictures with a dazed grin before the fans left, thanking you before going back out to their car. You ordered your food and sat in a booth near a window while you waited, Sollux messing with his phone before his eyes widened behind his sunglasses, looking over something with interest before speaking up. "Guys.Check your emails right now," he said seriously, making you nervous as you got your phone out and went to your email, noticing a new email from your manager and one from someone you didn't recognize. You opened the one from your manager, eyes going wide as you read. Capricious Capricorn's manager had called him up while you were out, asking for your emails so he could send an email containing 'really big news'. He also included the guy's email, the same as the one from the person you hadn't recognized. Holy shit.

You quickly closed the email and opened the one from Capricious Capricorn's manager, reading it over carefully, eyes widening even more as you read further down the message.

'Good afternoon Tavros! My name is Robert Polanski, manager of Capricious Capricorn. The members of Capricious Capricorn thoroughly enjoyed your performance last night, and I knew that we would have to work together again. I've already contacted your manager about a proposition for a possible gig for your band, The Sufferists. Capricious Capricorn will be starting an American tour within the next month or so, and have requested you travel with us as our headlining band. Please consider the opportunity, and the fact that this tour will most likely take several weeks, possibly a couple months. I've sent the same message to your bandmates, please feel free to contact them and your manager and talk it out, but please get back to me within the next week or so. Thanks again for taking the time to read this, and I hope to hear from you soon!'

Your mouth was hanging open, much like last night, and you were unable to process the information. It was insane. It was impossible. How the hell had this happened? After a while of staring at your screen you shook yourself out of your trance, realizing one of the cashiers was calling your number. You headed up to grab the bags, the others following to the van. Aradia had forgotten her phone, snatching Sollux's phone to read over the message and screaming when she was done, turning to you with a huge grin. "Tavros did you read it?? Oh my god Tav we have to do it!! We HAVE to!!" she yelled, shaking your shoulder a bit as Sollux drove, obviously still surprised by the news. Soon enough you pulled up at the studio, everyone quickly heading back to the sound room where your manager, Rick, sat, grinning confidently. "So I'm guessin you guys saw the message from Polanski?" he asked, still smirking. Everyone started yelling and talking at the same time, the general message seeming to be 'holy shit how did this happen is this real'. Finally Rick calmed you all down enough that you could have a conversation, everyone sitting down as Rick explained some of the details. "I'll be gettin you guys a bigger vehicle and we'll drive cross-country with Capricious Capricorn, following them to venues and staying in hotels and all that. The tour'll probably be about two months all together, and it'll end up back here in Cali. So, have you guys decided what you wanna do?" Aradia and Sollux immediately said they wanted to do it, Aradia turning to you when she realized you hadn't answered. "Tav? You've been pretty quiet. We don't have to do it if you don't want to," she said uncertainly but you put a hand up, sitting up a little and turning to Rick. 'We're in," you said, grinning when Aradia cheered, everyone excited and happy as the food was passed out. You knew that this was the start of something amazing, and as you all finished up your food and headed back in the studio everything seemed to be going perfectly. You couldn't wait for the tour, knowing something great was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "Dazed and Confused" by Led Zeppelin


	6. I've Been Locked Inside Your Heart-Shaped Box For Weeks

You sit at the mixing board, totally focused as you listen to the tracks you've been working on for the past few months. The tour is to show off the new album, meaning y'all gotta get your motherfuckin asses in gear if you wanna tour. And you do. You always like touring, but you just got word from Mr. P that The Sufferists agreed to touring with you. You're super excited to be able to see more of what they can do and, hopefully, hang with that cute-as-fuck frontman. Right now you're on a motherfuckin roll with this shit, tweaking the volume of certain instruments and sounds here and there, adding effects to certain songs to finish em off. Your first album was more raw, less put-together in your opinion. You love it like you would your child but it wasn't as clean as this one's gonna be. You wanna progress, you want the band to be, like, a real motherfuckin band, all professional and shit. So that's what you're all up and doin now, makin this shit a little more motherfuckin pro. After a few hours of listening to the same few tracks about a thousand times each and tweaking everything you wanna tweak your shoulders and back start gettin kinda sore, saving everything you got so far a few times before standing, stretching, and heading down to the kitchen. You're at your house, a really nice two-story with a smallish mixing board and shit in a back room that was supposed to be the master bedroom. It's real convenient though, since all you gotta do is record instruments, vocals, all that good shit and then you can go home and put it all together. You're glad you can work on it whenever you got time, not having to go out of your motherfuckin way to get to a studio where some other motherfucker'll tweak your shit. It's just easier doin it yourself.

You grab some leftover chinese and warm it up, eating a couple boxes before getting a call. You head over to the living room where you left your phone, answering with a quick 'yo' before a familiar voice comes through. 'Hey jackass, think you could open the door? I just woke up from a nap I didn't plan on taking and got here as soon as i could. I've been ringing the damn doorbell for a while now." You jump a bit when the doorbell rings, putting the takeout box on the table and heading to the door to open it up, grinning when Karkat steps in with a frown. "I've been out there for like 20 minutes you douche, how did you not hear me?" You put your phone in your pocket, still grinning as you go over to grab your box of food, following Karkat into the kitchen. "I was workin, bro. Got some shit done on a few songs. I was in the motherfuckin zone, you woulda been proud," you grin, finishing off the last of the chinese before tossing the empty box into the garbage and sitting down at the bar in one of the neat spinny barstools you got. Karkat goes over to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and twisting it open before speaking up again. "Good. We need that shit done soon or else Polanski'll flip his shit. Well, not really, but he'll give us that 'responsibility and commitment' speech or something and guilt us like a worn-out mother of a bunch of asshole toddlers," he said, downing a couple gulps before twisting the lid back on and walking past the bar toward the living room. "Come on, let's see what you got," he said, tossing his jacket on the couch before heading up the stairs with you close behind, eager to show him what you got done so far.

 After working with Karkat on some more songs you're feeling accomplished, the album's finally sounding how you've been wanting it to sound and you couldn't be happier. Equ came over about an hour after Karkat got here and has been quiet as always, putting suggestions in here and there but for the most part lettin you take the reigns. By early morning the next day everyone is happy, all the songs are done, and everyone crashes at your place for the night. You'll send the tape in to Polanski in the morning but for now you all go to bed, eager to share what you've made with the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter name from "Heart-Shaped Box" by Nirvana


	7. Face To Face

"Attention Capricious Capricorn fans! The album is officially done! The majority of the work is done, now on to photoshoots, publicity, and plans for the upcoming tour!" - CapriciousCapricornOfficial

You stare at the screen, reading it over and over. As a fan of the band you're dying of excitement, but as the lead singer of the band touring with CC you are kinda freaking out. You thought the new cd wouldn't be out til later in the year!! You thought you would have time, maybe even finish your first album and get it out there before their's. You had at least hoped for that, wanting to sell a few copies before Capricorn's blew your's out of the water. No one will give a shit about your stupid cd when they have CC's second album coming their way! Fuck!!

You fall back onto your bed, face-first in your pillow and groan before your phone rings obnoxiously on the bedside table. It's an unknown caller judging by the ringtone and you fumble to grab it, face still buried in your pillow as you wallow in self pity. You finally get the stupid thing in your hand by the third ring, lifting your head enough to answer it. "Tavros Nitram," you answer listlessly, the other end quiet except for a beat in the background. "Yo Tav, this is Gamzee Makara," the voice answers,  and you jolt up so quick you're afraid you might get whiplash. "I was all to thinkin maybe a motherfucker could be comin over with some info on the tour and we could all be talkin business. Our manager's callin yours for promo shit on the tour, and he said the band could all be pickin some motherfuckin stops on this wicked ass carnival. So we was all thinkin hey, why not ask the other motherfuckers comin with us? So I'll be needin an address to be stoppin by at so we can get this shit situated." You just kinda hold your phone to your ear, looking to the screen at the unknown number as if Jesus himself had called to shoot the breeze. You're silently freaking out when the voice of your longtime idol speaks up again, a hint of concern easy to detect. "Tav? You still there man?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry, I just... uh, how did you get this number?" You hear a chuckle on the other end before he speaks up again. "Your manager gave our's your digits so we could all be talkin at ya about this wicked tour and shit. Polanski gave me yours so I could contact ya personally, since we're both the head motherfuckin honchos or whatever. He's kinda tied up with the album and booking appointments and all that so he told me I could be in charge of finding a few places to do this tour," he replied, leaving you nodding on the other end before realizing he couldn't tell you were doing it. "Uh, yeah, sounds good. Um, so, should I call Aradia and Sollux? Like, are you bringing the whole band and you want me to do the same?" you ask, hoping you can fit that many people in one room. "I mean, you can if you want man. I'm comin solo, got a list of places Equ and Karkat suggested so I just kinda wanna make sure y'all are chill with it and get any other places you guys wanna go to," he said, pausing while he waited for your answer. You ran a hand through your strip of unstyled hair, going quiet for a little while while you thought it over. "Uh, I'll text you the address and I'll call Aradia and Sollux to see what they wanna do. So, you can come over, once I give you the address, alright?"

"Sounds good to me, brother," he replied, and you smiled a bit when you heard the smile in his voice. "Alright, I'll text you right now. Uh, see you later." "See ya bro." Click. You pause, letting the fact that your idol called you sink in before quickly typing out your address and sending it to him and calling up Aradia. She picks up on the fourth ring, sounding groggy. "Hello?" "Aradia, uh, Gamzee Makara called me, and he wanted to know if we wanted to tour anywhere in particular. So, do you or Sollux have like, any preferences or anything?" There's a pause, and in the background you hear Aradia waking Sollux up and teling him the situation, a  mumbled reply from Sollux, and then she's back. "He said anywhere is fine. But can we go to New Orleans?  I've always wanted to go there." "Uh, sure. Is that it?" "Yeah, honestly I'm just excited to be touring with them!" "Same here. Alright, I'll let him know when he gets here." You say your goodbyes and hang up the phone, setting it back down and closing up your laptop before hearing the doorbell. You run a hand through your hair and hurriedly change into some jeans and a sweater before heading downstairs, opening the door to a tall hooded figure with dark curly hair covered by a cap. He grins, lifting the bill up enough for you to recognize him. You stand aside, letting him in and closing the door behind you, turning around to see him pull off the hat and hoodie, a bit surprised by the lack of facepaint. You guess it makes sense though, he wears facepaint in just about every photo or performance, people would probably recognize him with it on. Or at least be interested. He has a surprisingly nice face, long lashes and high cheekbones, thick eyebrows and a slight bump on his nose as if he'd broken it a long time ago. He grins, plopping down on your family's sofa with grace. "So you talk to the rest of your band, bro?" You kinda stand there, staring at him a second before shaking yourself out of your trance and going over to sit on the loveseat across from him. "Uh, yeah. Sollux didn't care, but Aradia said New Orleans." Gamzee nodded, taking a pencil stub out from behind his ear like magic, his hair hiding it from view. He pulls out a folded piece of paper and scribbles it down before looking back to you curiously. "That it?" "Uh, yeah. Honestly we don't really care where we go, this is already amazing." Gamzee grins, putting the paper and pencil stub back before sitting back. "Yeah, you guys were pretty wicked when y'all opened for us. We got there right when you were starting the set and it was awesome man, I knew we had to work with y'all." You grin, cheeks heating up a bit, unable to say anything for a while. "Uh, thank you. And thank you so much for letting us tour with you guys, it really means a lot." "No problem bro, always cool touring with some rad motherfuckers," he grinned, and you couldn't help but grin back.

You spend the next half hour talking about promotion, and he mentions a photoshoot his manager is setting up for both bands. He tells you it's at this really nice place he's been to before, that the photos will look awesome and that when they get the shoot scheduled Polanski will contact your manager. You just kinda nod throughout the conversation, still amazed that Gamzee Makara is sitting in your living room, on your sofa, talking to you about a tour you're doing together. When he's done he sits back again, arms resting on the back of the couch while you think the whole situation over before footsteps pad down the carpeted stairs and your mother stops, looking between the two of you with a grin. "Hello, I'm Mrs. Nitram. I'm sorry to barge in, I didn't know we were having guests." She pads over and you both stand, Gamzee grinning at your mother before reaching a hand out to shake hers. "Hey, name's Gamzee Makara, I'm workin with your son." "Oh? Well would you like something to eat, Gamzee?" His eyes widen a bit, not expecting the question and he turns to you questioningly, obviously not sure what to do in this situation. "Mom, we're just talking about the tour. The one I told you about?" "Well I'm not letting our guest go hungry. Breakfast will be done shortly," she calls behind her, already heading for the kitchen. You sigh, giving a little smile and shrug. "Sorry. She's a really good cook, but she tends to make a lot." "That's alright bro, I love a good meal." You smile, and the both of you sit back down, going over the places you'll be touring and hotels and all that until your mom comes in with a grin. "Breakfast is ready, you two. Tavros, could you go get Rufioh? I want him to eat something before he has to get up and go." You nod, saying 'alright' as you head for the stairs and up to Rufioh's room, your mother talking to Gamzee while you knock on the door to your brother's room. There's a sleepy grunt and the sound of rustling bedsheets before he opens the door a few seconds later, eyelids drooping a bit before he rubs at one of them. "Mom made breakfast, she wants you to eat before you have to head back to school." He grunts in reply, stretching and running a hand through his mess of red and black hair before heading for the stairs in nothing but his boxers. You're about to suggest he put something else on before he stops in front of you at the foot of the stairs, looking toward the kitchen. Gamzee is holding empty plates for your mother while she piles them high with food, setting four down around the table. He turns to you, obviously confused, before making his way into the kitchen, sitting at the head of the table, looking directly at Gamzee. He's looking him over, sizing him up, and you sigh, hoping he won't be difficult as you head in and sit down at your usual spot.

Gamzee, unaware of Rufioh's evil eye, grins over at him, saying a cheery 'mornin, bro' before bringing the last plate over, setting it down in front of the spot between you and Rufioh and sitting down to eat. Yor mother sits at the other end of the table, across from Rufioh, thanking Gamzee for helping before everyone starts eating. Rufioh's still looking at Gamzee, and you pray he doesn't try to scare him off. Your older brother is definitely a bit protective, always sizing up anyone new, not wanting anyone he deems untrustworthy around you or your mom. Gamzee still hasn't noticed, or if he has he ignores it, turning to your mom and complimenting her cooking as he takes huge bites, easily finishing the entire mountain of food that once occupied his plate. Your mother scoops more eggs and bacon onto his plate, asking what sort of work you two were doing. He tells her about the plans, the photoshoot, all the tour information he has between bites of eggs and toast, your mother smiling and nodding throughout. Rufioh continues to look over at Gamzee every now and then, and you shovel the last of your food down while Gamzee finishs his second helping. You stand, thanking your mom for breakfast before ushering Gamzee out, saying something about continuing your discussion while handing him his stuff and leading him out front, wanting to get him away from your nosy family as soon as possible. He pulls his hat and jacket back on, pulling the bill low enough to obscure his face as you walk toward his car, a sleek, black BMW. You both climb in, pulling away and driving out of the neighborhood.

You sigh, turning to him with a frown. "I'm really sorry, about all that." "What? Ain't nothin to be apologizin for, man. Your mom sure knows how to cook." "Uh, actually, I kinda meant, the whole questioning you thing, and my brother, and the fact she practically force-fed you." "Nah bro, it was totally chill. I might have to be gettin my visit on more motherfuckin often," he says, turning to you to give you a genuine grin that makes you feel a lot better before he turns back to the road. "I'm takin you over to my manager's office. Our bands and your manager are supposed to meet up there in a while to talk some shit out about this tour." You nod, and you both go silent as he turns the radio on low and you sit back in the passenger seat, soon drifting off to sleep.

You wake up in the parking lot of a large building, Gamzee pulling up in a spot near the front and shutting the car off, looking to you with a grin. "Good nap, bro?" You nod, rubbing some sleep out of your eye as you both climb out and head toward the building, going through glass doors into a large reception area toward some elevators off to the side, Gamzee hitting the button for the top floor. You both walk out of the stopped elevator down a hall to some double doors, Gamzee opening them for the both of you. You find Aradia, Sollux, and Rick sitting at a long glass table with Karkat Vantas, Equius Zahhak, and a man in a suit that must be CC's manager. The man ushers you in and you both sit down, Gamzee on the side with his bandmates and you with yours, and begin talking about plans for the tour and promotions for it. By the end of the meeting you all have a list of dates, venues, hotels, and a separate list for the promotional stuff before the tour, photoshoots and signings and all that. You leave with your band and manager in a limo, the car mostly quiet as the driver heads to your studio to drop off your manager. He climbs out, ducking down to grin at you all before handing you three small, square presents in identical black wrapping paper. "A gift from Capricious Capricorn. Open it up when you guys get home. I'll talk to you later," he says, Aradia and Sollux saying quick goodbyes while you give him a short wave as he shuts the door, the driver soon pulling away. He drops you all off at your houses, and when you get home you immediately head up to your room, closing the door and looking over the wrapped package. You pull off the wrapping paper and open the box, finding a cd case inside with a black cd. You look for any sign of a note or anything but find nothing. You put it in the cd tray of your desktop, realizing it's a cd when iTunes pops up asking if you'd like to download it. You click yes, watching as the tracks are downloaded, waiting til they're all done loading before playing the first track. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Face To Face" by Daft Punk. this was supposed to be a short chapter wtf happened


	8. Never Thought Tonight Could Ever Be, This Close To Me

Mr. P was all kinds of happy to get the final draft of your cd, listening to it with a big ol grin. You knew he had been gettin kinda antsy about meetin the deadline but you pulled through, and before he was halfway done with listening to the cd he was calling for photoshoots and album artwork, setting up a photoshoot for this week that would last a couple days. You got signed up for a photoshoot from the people in LA who had taken your photos last year, and you were eager to work with em again. They always took awesome pictures and you knew whatever they came up with would turn out great. By the end of the meeting with Polanski you guys had an idea of what the album artwork would look like, and everyone was excited for the shoot in a couple days. You dropped Equius off at his friend Nepeta's house and drove Karkat to your's to chill, listening to one of the newest songs you'd come up with. This one you were kinda nervous about, because it was the first love song you've ever written. Karkat had only heard it once but as you both listened to it he looked to you out of the corner of his eye, the way he did when he knew something you hadn't told him yet. "When did you write this one?" he asked, turning to you as the chorus started. "Uh, sometime after the secret gig," you reply, and you can tell he already knows who the song is about. He just nods, sitting back and listening to the rest while you try not to get all embarrassed and shit.

You both listen through it and the rest of the album, Karkat commenting on little things here and there but for the most part staying silent. You can tell he's paying close attention to every note and sound, nodding to the beat as he searches for flaws. By the end of the album he just sits a while, eyebrows all furrowed like when he's thinkin real hard on something before nodding. "It's good Gamz. Like, really fucking good. I'm surprised I didn't have to hold your hand through the whole damn thing," he says, and you beam because you know that's Karkat's way of saying he loves it and he's proud of you. "Thanks best friend," you reply, and he gives you a rare smile before your cell phone rings, making you both jump a bit as rap music blares through the speakers. You quickly fumble around in your pockets, finally grabbing your phone and answering the call. "Hey Mr. P," you grin, going quiet as your manager starts talking a mile a minute about the shoot. You put it on speaker so Karkat can hear it too, and he reminds you guys of the shoot, saying the schedule's been changed. He gives ya the address to the studio and the room, and tells you he'll see you tomorrow for day one. He says it'll probably take two days, and that you can bring four people outside of the band at most. You grin over at Karkat and suggest taking Tav and his band and Mr. P agrees as long as they act right, stay out of the way, all that good stuff. You agree, thanking him before hanging up and grinning even wider at Karkat, who is looking at you with a raised eyebrow and a slight frown. "You really like that kid, don't you?" he asks, and you smile, replying with a drawn-out 'mayyyyyybeee' as you start texting said frontman.

**Yo TaV, cC's GoT a PhOtOsHoOt FoR tHe Cd I sEnT y'AlL. wAnNa BrInG tHe BaNd AnD cOmE wItH?**

You set your phone down and pull off your hoodie, going to your room to toss it on the bed before heading back into the studio right as your phone goes off again, this time with the song you put for Tav, "The Ligature" by Blaqk Audio. You find a new text, **sURE, uH, wHEN IS IT?** and you grin, sending the days and address with a grin. He says they'll see you tomorrow and you grin even wider as you put the phone back in your pocket, sitting down to watch Karkat turn off the stereo, telling you to get up so you can watch something. You grin and follow him to the living room to watch some romcoms before bed, leaning against him and playing with his hair while you sit through Karkat's movies. You hope the shoot goes well, and that you can spend some more time with Tav. You're eager for tomorrow, and fall asleep with a grin sometime during the second romcom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Close To Me" by The Cure


	9. Posing A Threat

You drive Aradia and Sollux to the studio Gamzee told you about, Aradia giving directions from her phone as you drove through the city and finally pulled into a parking garage near a large white building. You find a spot on the second floor, heading to the white building and stopping at the front desk to ask about Capricorn's photoshoot. Security calls their manager, Mr. Polanski, and he grins before leading you toward a huge open space a couple floors up, the only things in there a few large lights, cameras, and blank white floors and walls. A couple people mill around the room, fiddling with cameras and lighting as Mr. P leads you through a door to the side of the room into a blank white hallway with a few black doors along one side, most of them closed but a couple open. Mr. Polanski says he'll be back to check in later, but has to go. He says goodbye, hoping you all have fun before leaving back through the large room and toward the exit downstairs.

Aradia drags Sollux off to look for food, and you stay put, not really sure where to go. You look around, noticing a woman with a blonde ponytail pulling a rack of clothes, stopping near the middle of the hallways and pushing it toward the wall, probably so Capricious Capricorn can change into some of it for the shoot. You go over and and look at some of the clothes, wondering who will wear what and where the band is before a door behind you opens, making you jump as you spin around to apologize for touching the clothes, sure it 's a designer or photographer or something. Instead Karkat Vantas walks out with a slight scowl, looking you over as you sputter out apologies. He doesn't answer at first, waving his hand to get your attention and get you to shut up before speaking up. "Seriously, just shut up. It's fine. I'd be bored shitless too if I was you. Fuck, I'm bored shitless now and this is supposed to be like, a big thing." He goes over, flicking through the the clothes. It's only then that you notice the partitions, three sections marked off by the band members names. He flips through his section, eyebrows furrowed as he looks over every article of clothing critically. "How many fucking outfits does one person need? I would just wear a fucking t-shirt or something but no, that's not the 'look' we're going for or whatever. I just hope we don't get the same asshole photographer as last time, that guy was such a fucking prick."

You bite your lip, staying quiet because honestly you're not sure if he's talking to himself or if he actually expects you to answer. Eventually he grabs a couple articles of clothing, black jeans and a sweater, before heading back for the door he just walked out of, probably his dressing room. He stops in the doorway, grabbing the door and starting to close it before pausing, looking at you with less of a scowl then before. "Gamzee will be here soon, so you can hang with him for a while once we get dressed. You should probably go out to the main shooting area or else the makeup people and whatever will throw a fucking fit. Just try not to get in anyone's way and you'll be fine," he says, stepping back into his dressing room and swiftly closing the door, leaving you alone in the hallway again before you take his advice and head back into the large room where everyone's getting ready. You go to the back of the room where the food table is, Aradia and Sollux leaning against it as they watch a couple people move huge lights around and those white screen things they use, adjusting over and over. The double doors open and close again and two people walk in, a girl holding a coffee and a guy with blonde hair and sunglasses, walking straight up to one of the cameras. You guess this guy must be the photographer. He messes with the expensive-looking camera on the tripod in front for a bit before sitting down, and the double doors open again. Gamzee walks in, speedwalking a bit as he crosses the large room toward the hall. You lift your hand up a little to wave but put it back down, he looks like he's in a hurry. Soon you hear hangers sliding from the hall and a door open and close, and you sit back again, grabbing a couple doughnuts from the large box on the table. You eat with your band mates, doors open and close down the hall, Karkat comes out and sits off to the side, glaring at the photographer. Soon Equius Zahhak walks out, looking around the room and pausing when he sees you and the others, seeming a bit uncomfortable. He goes over toward the spot the photos will be taken, sitting in a chair next to Karkat.

Eventually Gamzee comes out, and you can't help but stare a little bit. His face is bare, not a sign of his usual clown makeup. In it's place are some well-drawn cat eyes, reminding you a bit of an Egyptian pharoah or something. His hair is hidden under an odd hat thing, that looks like a mohawk made of long black feathers. He's also shirtless, and you can see a couple tattoos on his chest that are obscured by a large amount of necklaces. His pants are just slightly baggy, hanging low on his hips and pooling a bit around his boots. His many bracelets and necklaces jingle and clack as he moves, sitting down with the rest of his band before turning to take a look around, grinning when he spots you. He waves a hand, signaling for you to come over and you stand, walking toward him and unable to stop yourself from smiling at his huge grin.

"Hey bro! Ready to see some motherfuckin magic happen? These guys are the best, they're gonna be the ones doin our promo shoots for the tour and shit too. I hope y'all don't mind chillin here with us for a few hours," he says, and you put your hand up in a pacifying manner. "No, really, it's fine. I bet it will be really cool, to see this, and maybe get some idea of what we'll do, for our own photoshoot." He grins a little wider, saying 'bitchtits, bro' before the blond guy with the shades seems to appear out of nowhere beside you, making you jump a bit. "Hey, sorry to cut the first date short but we got shit to do. I'm kind of a busy guy. So let's get these shots done for the day, alright?" You're not really sure who he's talking to, but Gamzee agrees, standing and heading for the white space in front of the cameras and lights. The photographer gets behind his camera, taking shots while Gamzee poses, pulling at his necklaces, turning his head, lifting his chin. He seems to know exactly what to do, and it's kind of amazing. When he's done he comes back over, taking a large pull off a bottle of soda before heading back to the hall, probably to change.

You sit through the photoshoot, taking mental notes on what they're doing. They change their clothes at least two or three times each, and Gamzee seems to get more time in front of the camera then anyone else. Probably because he's the singer. You eat lunch with them, discussing the photoshoot for the tour before they go back to taking pictures, group shots and individual shots, the photographer stopping sometime around seven. He mentions a new location for tomorrow and soon leaves, the band going back to their dressing rooms to change before coming out, Gamzee suggesting you all go out for dinner. He wears his hoodie and hat again, and you all go to a diner and eat burgers and fries. By the end of the day you're exhausted, but eager for tomorrow, hoping you can spend some more time with Gamzee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Fashion Is Danger" by Flight of the Conchords


	10. All The Red Lights and The Stop Signs

It's the second and final day of shooting and Strider's sent you an address. It's still early, like four in the morning early, and you slip into a hoodie and a pair of sneakers as you send the address to Tav. You grab your keys and go to a little cafe that opens this early, a tiny little shop that makes some wicked coffee and really awesome pastries. You come in here whenever you wake up early enough for breakfast, it's the best. The girl at the counter, Jane, gives you a cheery smile and greets you, asking for your order. You decide on a coffee and a box of muffins and doughnuts, giving her a nice big tip in the little glass tip jar while she hurries off to brew the coffee. You get your order in a couple minutes, thanking her and giving her a big grin and a wave before heading back out to the car to go pick up Karkat and Equius to take them to the shoot.

You pull up to the shoot around five, a little confused when you stop in front of a surburban home in the middle of a neighborhood. You check the address again before telling the others this is the place, climbing out and heading up to the front door. You ring the bell and step back, rubbing your hands together to warm them up. It's kinda chilly, and the clouds have rolled in since yesterday, making the sky dark grey. You wonder if it'll rain, hoping it doesn't mess with the shoot as the door opens and one of the makeup girls ushers you all in, saying Strider's in the kitchen. You walk through a deserted living room into the kitchen, where Strider sits at the island on a stool, sipping at his coffee. You greet him, setting the box of pastries down and sitting across from him to start eating. You all go over what the shoot will consist of, mostly group shots in the backyard, the roof, and out front. He says if it rains you'll probably end up staying out there to get the shots done for the most part and Karkat grumbles, obviously not liking the idea. Dave ignores him and says the whole shoot should be done by the afternoon, standing and telling you all to get ready after you're done eating. You all eat in relative silence, looking around the kitchen. You wonder if this is actually someone's house but decide it's probably not, it's way too empty. When you're done eating you all go back into the living room, Dave's assistant poiting down the hall and telling each of you which room will be your dressing room. You head down the hall and make a right, going to the end and opening the door of the master bedroom. A few outfits are hanging up and one is laid across the bed, obviously the one you're going to wear today. You slip into the baggy tank top, skinny jeans, and black jacket, grinning at the huge boots you'll be wearing. You slip into them and end up standing about half a foot taller than usual. You walk around the room a bit to get used to them before one of the makeup artists knocks at the door and comes in to do your hair and makeup.

 You sit in front of the small makeup desk and mirror while she works her magic, finally done after she pulls away and puts something on your head. It's the hat from yesterday, the one witht he long feathers in the shape of a mohawk. You grin, looking over yourself and feel pretty good, like an exotic bird or something. You stand, thanking her before following her out to the backyard, where Karkat and Equius are standing around a glass table. Dave's cameras and shit are already up, and he tells you to sit, pointing to the seat behind the table. You put your feet up and cross them on the table to show off the shoes, Equius standing behind you, leaning against a small wall while Karkat stands a bit off to the side, looking toward the house. You look toward the back door when it opens, giving a small smile when Tav steps out in a hoodie and a leather jacket, looking downright gorgeous and like a total badass. Aradia gives you a smile and you return it, Sollux looking tired and annoyed. Dave gets your attention again, telling you you're heading up to the roof. He tells you to change and you head back in, going to your changing room to get into the second outfit. You end up in basketball style sneakers, looser skinny jeans and a black crochet sweater, showing off your torso and tattoos. Your hair gets styled again, straightened and falling to your shoulders. You run a hand through the stuff in front, moving it out of your face as you head up to the roof on a ladder, sitting on the edge near the front of the house with Karkat and Equius. You lean back on your arms, looking out at the neighborhood. A small crowd has gathered by now, pointing up at you guys as you pose for Dave. You're thankful for your bodyguards, forming a barrier a few feet from the front of the house, keeping everyone out as you finish up the shots and head back in to change one more time. You all get into slightly thicker clothes, which is really nice. It was cold out there, drizzle starting to fall near the end of the roof shots. You all head back into the backyard, going up a large hill with a lot of trees. You all climb up, standing and posing under a large tree before Dave says you're done for now, everyone cheering and high fiving as you all head back inside, the rain really coming down as you all go inside to wait it out. Dave mentions going back out during a break in the rain to get the last few pictures and you all agree, drying off and lounging around inside. Tavros comes over and you grin, happy to finally have some time to chill with him.

"Hey, those looked like some really good pictures. I'm sure they'll turn out really well." You grin proudly, thanking him before somebody mentions video games, somone having set up a Playstation. You grin, asking if he wants to play Guitar Hero as a couple makeup artists set up the drums, guitar, and mic. He grins and agrees, going for the guitar while you grab the mic, Aradia going for the drums with a grin. You all play for a good hour and a half, having a lot of fun playing with them and everyone else. When the rain finally lets up you change again, getting into the skinny jeans and feather hat, slipping the tall boots on before walking out front. You all end up walking in front of the driveway where a gorgeous black Mustang sits, covered in rain. Dave gets a few shots and says you're done, and you're all glad that the shoot's finally over. You end up keeping the clothes from the photoshoot, wearing the boots and see-through sweater out. You ask Tav and his band to go grab some food with your band and they agree, saying they'll follow you in their car. You all go out to have an early dinner, going to a place in LA and sitting outside, talking about the shoot and enjoying the company of friends, glad to be able to go out and have fun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Telegraph Ave" by Childish Gambino ("Oakland" by Lloyd)


	11. A New Day's Coming, The Time Is Now

You keep a low profile while you work on the tour with the others, seeing more and more of Gamzee, Karkat, and Equius as the tour gets close to starting. The day after your photoshoot with CC twitter blows up with news of the new tour. You start wearing hats and shades a lot more, not wanting a bunch of paparazzi bothering you. Thankfully your band isn't all that big, no one knows much about any of you. You just hope this whole tour doesn't get too crazy.

You're also getting close to finishing your cd, putting the last details on the songs and cleaning it up, figuring out artwork and all of that. The sound isn't as punk as some of your live stuff has been, but you like it all the same. It's loud and cool and a bit personal, and you couldn't be happier with it. Gamzee and the others have even been helping a bit, giving suggestions every now and then when your band is stuck or can't bare to listen to the same song another time. It's great to get their input, and it makes the songs even better.

When the music is finally done you get photos taken for the booklet, doing a simple shot of you for the cover. It's weird seeing yourself on the cover of a cd but it's exciting, knowing your cd is finally done after working so hard for so long. You send it to your manager and it's on the shelves a few days later, Gamzee taking you and the band to a record store a few miles away to see the displays for your cd.

He grins and grabs a cd, pulling his phone out and pulling you close with his arm. You both grin as he takes a picture, holding your cd in front of you as you stand for the picture. He looks over the photo and grins again, tapping out something before showing it to you. You smile a bit at the photo, reading over the caption.

"buyin The Sufferists first cd with the motherfuckin singer himself! can't wait to listen to it :oD"

You grin, handing him his phone back as you turn to look over the cds, feeling nervous and proud and excited. You both walk around the store a few times, each getting a couple cds, talking about some of your favorite bands. It turns out you both like rap and rock, and he points out some cds for you to check out. You both end up buying a small stack, paying and taking your bags toward the front doors, stopping to pull your sunglasses and hats back on before heading for the car. Gamzee immediately pulls out your cd and puts it in the stereo, starting the car as the music starts, grinning over at you as he taps a finger on the wheel with the beat, bobbing his head.

"Bro, you didn't tell me it'd be this good! Damn Tav, y'all are even more motherfuckin aweome then I thought!" he grins, almost having to yell over how loud he's blasting the song. You grin, shrugging your shoulders. What do you say to something like that?

You end up at Gamzee's house, him saying that he wants to show you something. You grin, wondering what it could be as you head in and up to the loft. You sit down on the couch, Gamzee heading down the corridor and into a room, purple and pink light swaying and filtering out into the hall. Eventually he comes out, sits down, and hands you a cd case. Your eyes widen as soon as you see what it is.

"Wait, is this your new cd?" you ask, and he grins and nods his head, telling you to look it over. You open it up, flipping through the booklet, looking over the pictures and lyrics. You grin, handing it back after awhile with a grin.

"That looks awesome Gamz, seriously. Everyone's gonna love it." He grins, taking the case from you and setting it down on the table. "Thanks man, I motherfuckin hope so. Mr. P said it'll be out this weekend and then we'll start the tour next week. Y'all ready to be tourin with us?" You grin, running a hand through your mohawk. "Definitely. I'm actually really excited for it. I just hope it doesn't, get too crazy, you know? I know how some of your fans can get, sometimes," you mumble, and he chuckles and shrugs. "We got our security team, and some extra for y'all just in case. It shouldn't get too crazy." You nod, sitting back before your phone starts buzzing. You pick it up when you see it's Aradia.

"Aradia? What's up?" you ask, and soon her loud, excited voice is ringing in your ears. "Tavros! Everyone is freaking out over that post Gamzee made, our record is selling out like crazy! We're gonna need to bring a LOT more merch for the tour," she babbles, and you can hear the excited smile on her face, making you grin as you look to Gamzee, smiling back at you. "That's awesome Aradia! Uh, I'll make sure we mention it before we go, so we'll be prepared."

"Alright, we have to meet up with Rick later anyway, he wants to congratulate us on the new album." You grin a little wider, nodding your head as you speak up. "Alright, I'll be there in about an hour. See you guys later." "See you later Tavros."

You hang up, turning to Gamzee with a smile. "Our cd is doing pretty well, and Rick wanted to meet up with us. You think you could drive me back home so I can go to Rick's?" "Sure man, we can listen to your miraculous cd on the way." You can't help but grin, following him out to the car. You get through about half of the cd by the time you get home, and you thank Gamzee for the ride before heading to your own car. You're feeling really good about this whole thing, nervous but excited.

You're really looking forward to this tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "Feel It All" by Tokio Hotel


	12. I Will Replace the Noise With Silence Instead

Capricious Capricorn's second cd comes out a few days after yours, selling thousands of copies the first couple of days. Gamzee gives you a copy the night before they go on the shelves, and you put it with the one he gave you weeks before, the first copy of the completed cd, before it had artwork or song names or anything.

Rick also ends up getting you guys a little bus for the tour, a simple black bus with tinted windows. You tell Gamzee about it and he immediately asks if he can come over and see it, saying something about a surprise. You agree, and a couple hours later he shows up at your house with a cardboard box and a guy who looks almost exactly like him. His hair is black and wavy, a little more out of control then Gamzee's. He has piercings on his upper and lower lips, black eyeliner around his calculating eyes. He looks older, maybe by a couple years at most, but seems to be the exact opposite of happy, silly Gamzee. You're nervous under his gaze, stepping back to let them pass without a word. Gamzee immediately asks where the bus is and you mumble something about the garage before he heads over to the door, the other guy turning to look you over before following Gamzee. You don't really know what is happening so you follow them, keeping some distance between you and the guy that must be Gamzee's older brother.

You all end up in the garage, Gamzee asking if you can open the garage door for him as he pulls a bandana over his mouth and nose, the other Makara doing the same. You do as asked, still completely confused as to what Gamzee's planning on doing as he sets the box down with a clang and some rattling, pushing up the sleeves of his hoodie before looking to you.

"Oh shit, I didn't even all up and introduce y'all! This here's my brother Kurloz, and Kur this here's Tav," he grins behind his bandana, gesturing to you with a flourish. Kurloz stays completely silent, staring at you a couple seconds before bringing his hands up, which you notice are covered in tattoos. He moves them quickly, still looking to you before looking to Gamzee, and Gamzee seems to give a smile from under the bandana and a small chuckle before speaking to him a bit more quietly. "Yeah, that's him," he says, and you fidget a bit, sure they must be talking about you but not wanting to interrupt or butt in on their conversation. Kurloz starts moving his hands again, Gamzee watching them intently before his eyes widen a bit, seeming surprised. "Shut up man, it ain't all like that," he mutters, ears going a bit red as he turns back to the box and opens it up, revealing a lot of spray cans.

He grabs a white can and starts shaking it, popping the cap off as Kurloz goes over to the box and grabs a couple cans for himself. You realize a little late what they're planning on doing, only getting out a small "uhh" as Gamzee starts spraying, Kurloz looking over his shoulder at you with a raised eyebrow before turning back to the van, popping off a couple lids and starting to paint the back doors.

You quickly grab a cloth mask from the workbench, pulling it over your mouth and nose as you go around toward Gamzee, now able to watch both of them at the same time. Gamzee makes huge, sweeping white letters, writing "The Sufferists" across the whole side of the van, carefully avoiding the windows. Kurloz makes smaller, more precise movements, both focusing completely on what they're painting. You just kind of stand back and let them do their thing, fiddling with your hands and unsure of what to do. Gamzee finishes going over the lettering again, making the letters sharp and clean like the font you use for your promotion stuff, pulling back to look over his work before turning his head to look back at you.

"Wanna give it a try?" he asks, cheeks rising behind his bandana in a smile as he wiggles the can at you enticingly. You look to the box of paint and step forward, kneeling down to look over the colors before picking a couple and heading to the front of the van, making sure your mask is secure before drawing out the logo you put on the cd on the hood of the van.

It takes some time to get it just right, but when you pull back to look it over you smile under your mask, satisfied with your work. Gamzee has covered the lettering he painted with plastic and tape, several colors near his feet as he sprays sharp shapes and lines, a lot like some of the artwork from your cd booklet. Kurloz comes around from the back of the van to watch his brother over his shoulder, nodding his head a bit before going back to his spot to continue painting.

You all work on each of your sides of the van like this for a while, you finishing first with Gamzee and Kurloz finishing soon after. You all head to the driver's side, the last side to be painted, and look over the blank canvas, unsure what to paint. Kurloz signs something to Gamzee, who interprets it to you.

"He said he could make like a mural type thing, lots of color or not so much, whatever you want. Use the artwork from the cd as reference," Gamzee says, Kurloz looking to you for an answer.

"Uh, sure, that sounds great, thanks," you say to Kurloz, and he nods, giving a short response that Gamzee interprets as 'no problem'. Soon Kurloz grabs the paint cans and starts working, holding a copy of the cd booklet Gamzee had been using for his paintings. You ask if either of them want anything, both asking for different flavors of Faygo. You say you'll just head to the store and get some, going in your car to look for Moon Mist and Faygo Grape, and maybe some food for all three of you.

When you get back with McDonald's and two liters of Faygo Kurloz is just finishing up, putting the last little details on the driver's side before both of them start putting the paint cans away. You set the food down and help them out, and soon all of you head to the front yard to eat, leaving the garage door open to let fresh air in. You all eat in relative silence, Gamzee speaking up every now and then, asking if you like the painting and stuff. You thank them both again, saying you would never have been able to do something as cool as they did with the van. Soon you all finish eating, throwing out the trash and saying your goodbyes as the Makaras leave in Gamzee's car with their sodas. You head over to the entrance of the garage, smiling at the newly painted van before going in and closing the garage door behind you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from "Spit It Out" by IAMX


	13. I Want To Know How To Survive In The Nightlife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one day! don't expect that too often

When you come back from another meeting with Rick you head back to your house, pulling out your phone and texting Gamzee, telling him you're home. You don't get a message back for a while, but you guess it must have something to do with the meeting Gamzee had told you he was going to today for the new album. You busy yourself with a shower and tv, kind of glad to have some time to yourself even if it's a bit lonely without anyone to chill with.

You're just starting a Lord of the Rings marathon when your phone buzzes, picking it up and smiling when you see it's from Gamzee.

**HeY bRo, SoRrY aBoUt MoThErFuCkIn DiTcHiN yOu LiKe ThAt. ThIs MoThErFuCkEr'S aCtUaLlY gOt a MoThErFuCkIn SuRpRiSe ThOuGh, So GeT yOuR fInE aSs DrEsSeD aNd I'lL bE tHeRe To PiCk A bRoThEr Up ReAl MoThErFuCkIn SoOn ;o)**

You can't help but smile, a bit curious as to what the surprise might be before going up to your room to change. You finish getting dressed and go down to turn the tv off, a couple knocks catching your attention as you shut off the dvd player. You grin, grabbing your jacket and keys before opening the door to find Gamzee with his hood up, grinning from under it.

"Hey brother, ready to get goin?"

"Uh, get going where?" you ask, but he just shakes his head, his grin growing even bigger before speaking up again.

"Nah man, this shit is on lock til we get to where we're all up and goin, so let's move!"

He seems excited, almost seeming to bounce to his car as he heads down to the driveway. You can't help but grin after him, locking the door behind you and following him to a large black Hummer you know to be Equius's car. Gamzee opens the back door and waits for you to climb in before sitting beside you and closing the door behind him, Equius and Karkat sitting up front.

"Now let's go pick up Aradia and and 'Thollux' and get this nightmare over with," Karkat grumbles, Equius soon backing up and starting the short drive to Aradia and Sollux's apartment.

"So, how did the meeting go? With your manager?" you ask, feeling a little uncomfortable in the silence.

"Excellent. The album has been selling relatively well from what we've heard," Equius answers, seeming a bit distracted with focusing on driving. Gamzee nods beside you with a huge grin, soon launching into a description of the meeting animatedly while Karkat shoves headphones on and Equius continues driving.

Soon you pull up in front of the apartment building, Aradia and Sollux already waiting. They both climb in, Gamzee having to scoot into your personal space to fit all four of you in the seat. You try and fail not to blush a little bit, looking out the windows as you try to ignore how close Gamzee is sitting next to you. You still have no idea where you're going, Aradia and Sollux telling Karkat and Equius about the meeting with Rick, Gamzee quieter then usual beside you as you try to figure out where the hell you're all going.

You're on the freeway, the traffic not too bad as everyone starts talking about the tour and you join in, soon forgetting to pay attention to where you're heading as you all talk about the setlists you're thinking of doing, the venues you'll be playing at.

Soon the car pulls over and you look out the window, finding a long line to a building on the street. Gamzee pushes you toward the door and you head out, everyone but Equius climbing out and onto the sidewalk. You all get in line, Equius driving a ways to park the car before meeting back up with you again. You all talk amongst yourselves, and you ask why Gamzee decided to bring you all here.

"To celebrate, brother! All our cds are sellin really well, just thought it'd be fun to take y'all out," he grins, his grey smile stretching cartoonishly before someone recognizes him, asking to get pictures with him. You all spend most of your time bobbing your heads to the beat of the bass thumping from inside, getting pictures taken with fans, and talking. It takes a while to get to the door but when you do they let you all in immediately, telling you all to have a good night.

 You all head in, sticking together in a group as bodies move all around you, people dancing all around the large building. Aradia and Sollux go over to the bar and bring back drinks for everyone, and soon you're all dancing together, bobbing and swaying and moving to the beat with grins and laughter. You dance with Aradia for a while before she makes Sollux dance with her, Gamzee moving forward to take her place with you. You don't know how long you stay there, memory getting hazy with drinks as the night goes on, but you're laughing and happy when you leave the club with your friends, Equius and Karkat staying sober while the rest of you pile into the back. You don't remember much after that, but you think you might have fallen asleep on the way home. All you really know is that it was a good night, and you'd probably regret all the drinks you had tomorrow morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Nightlife" by IAMX


	14. No Fun My Babe, No Fun

You wake up groggy, nauseous, and with a headache. The first thing you do is empty the contents of your stomach into the toilet down the hall, barely able to keep your balance going to and from the bathroom. The light above the mirror pierces your eyes and sends stabbing pain to your head, making you wince before fumbling with the switch to turn it back off as you head back to your room.

You flop back onto your bed, feeling around the sheets before pulling out your phone, finding a lot of notifications as you unlock the screen. You open Instagram, the one that has the most notifications, and open your account to find out what the hell is happening.

 It turns out Aradia had kept a log of everything you'd done last night, finding a few pictures of you dancing with Gamzee, arms wrapped around each other, grinning and laughing. These seem to be the pictures that are getting so much attention, many of the comments asking if you two are dating now. You can't help but blush a bit at that, another post coming up on your feed as you look over the pictures. This one is Gamzee's, a selfie from last night of you and him. He's grinning into the camera, your arms around his neck as you laugh against his neck.

'HaD pLeNtY oF fUn WiTh ThIs MoThErFuCkEr AnD oUr BaNdS. sTiLl HuNg OvEr BuT iT wAs MoThErFuCkIn WoRtH iT :o)'

You smile, liking the picture before going to sign out, getting a message right before you do. You go to open it, a picture of Gamzee smiling sleepily into the camera greeting you.

'MoRnIn TaV. hOw YoU fEeLiN?'

You try and fail not to blush when you realize he's shirtless, taking a picture of yourself still in bed, squinting in the dim light.

'nOT TOO GOOD. sTILL PRETTY HUNG OVER'

You message him a little longer, promising to see him later when your bands go to load up and head out for your first venue of the tour, signing out and setting your phone back on your bedside table before burrowing into your sheets and falling back to sleep.

-

You woke up the second time to distant yelling, burrowing deeper in your sheets at the noise before your door bursts open, Aradia's cheery voice greeting you and making your head throb.

"Come on Tav, rise and shine! We gotta get packed and get going!" she calls, coming over to yank the blankets off you as you try to hide from her unsuccessfully. You're assaulted with light from the afternoon sun stabbing your eyes painfully, pulling an arm up to cover them.

"Aradia, seriously, do you have to be so loud?" Sollux grumbles from somewhere behind her, sounding about as miserable as you feel.

"Yep!" she crows cheerfullly, turning to haul you up out of bed despite your protests. "Come on Tav, you still have to pack! We have to be on the road by eight!"

"Wha time izzit," you mumble blearily, squinting your eyes open but shutting them again quickly.

"It's three! Come on Tav, you should be ready to go by now!" she says, voice still too loud and cheerful. You grumble, squinting your eyes open again as you head to your closet to grab a duffel bag and start packing, throwing whatever clothes are near you in. Aradia says something about getting you something for your headache and you grunt in the affirmative, very slowly waking from your zombie-like state. She comes back a few minutes later with a couple pills and some water, and you down it quickly before mumbling out a thank you as you pack some socks and underwear. You pull off your sleep shirt and pull on some random tshirt, push your feet into your boots and look around to try to figure out what else you might need, going to brush your teeth and put your toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, and deoderant in the duffel bag before zipping it up.

 When you're satisfied with what you've packed you head to the living room where Aradia and Sollux are now waiting. Sollux rubs at his temple with a grimace, Aradia rubbing his back soothingly. They look up when you head in, standing as you all head out to the small bus you'd gotten for the tour, smiling at the paint job you and the Makaras had done on it a while ago. Sollux goes around to make sure it has gas, saying something about getting a little more before you all go, Aradia going to open the back door so you can toss your bag in under a small table near a couch by the window, their bags sitting under it already. You mention saying goodbye to your family and Aradia smiles as she waves you off when you head back inside.

Your mom and Rufioh are already in the living room, smiling at you proudly. You hug Rufioh first and he hugs you tight, telling you he'll come see you guys once his classes are done in a couple weeks. Your mom smiles sweetly up at you, pulling you down to hug you and kiss your cheek. She wishes you luck, tells you to have fun and be safe, and you push the happy tears back as you smile and hug her a little tighter. You say a last goodbye as you head out the door and they smile and wave after you, Rufioh's arm wrapped around Mom as she tears up a little. You climb into the van and start the drive to Mr. Polanski's office, giving a short prayer that this tour goes well as you sit back and watch the scenery pass by behind the tinted, painted window beside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "No Fun" by The Stooges


	15. We'll Make This Dream Come True

You get to Mr. Polanski's office right on time, Gamzee, Equius, Karkat, and your own manager sitting around the table. Gamzee grins, giving you a little wave as you and the band sit down, Mr. Polanski soon bustling through the doors, apologizing before sitting down for the meeting with the rest of you. You all go over the schedules, tour dates, places you're touring, and hotels on the way, having made reservations already so you won't be left without a place to sleep while out on the road. Mr. Polanski and your manager go over the places you'll be doing interviews, having a couple set up at local tv stations this evening before you all start driving. When everything's settled and all of you know exactly what you're doing and when, you're sent back out to drive to your first interview, Capricious Capricorn's tour bus at least two or three times bigger then your own van, driving one behind the other to your destination.

You all end up doing two interviews at two different stations, Capricious Capricorn and you, Aradia, and Sollux all piled together on a couple couches, answering questions and talking a little about the new cds and the tour. The newscasters are pretty nice, and you try not to be too nervous as you bounce your leg and talk when asked questions. You're relieved when you climb back into the van after the last interview, heading for the gas station and filling up before getting on the freeway toward your first show in Arizona.

-

A couple hours later and you've just finished your set, going backstage with huge grins on all of your faces. You're sweaty and gross and a little hoarse, downing a bottle of water someone hands you as you all head to the big dressing room you're sharing with the rest of your band. Gamzee, Equius, and Karkat are sitting on a couch waiting for you, all of them huddled over a list Gamzee's writing. They all look up as your band steps in, Gamzee grinning, Equius giving a curt nod, and Karkat still frowning.

"Hey guys! How did the first show go?" Gamzee asks, moving over to give you all room to sit. You and Aradia take a seat on the couch, Sollux going over to grab his laptop and sit on the ground near Aradia's feet.

"Pretty good. There's a lot of people out there," you reply, a bit winded and tired. Gamzee nods, fiddling with a ring on his finger idly.

"Makes sense. How'd the show go?"

"Really good, actually. We were thinking most of these people were just here to see you, but a lot of them knew our songs," Aradia grins, pulling her hair in a ponytail, makeup still perfect even though she's sweating too.

"Let's just hope some of them buy our shit," Sollux mutters, eyes still on the screen of his laptop as he scrolls around on some site.

"Yeah, that would definitely be a plus," you grin, a knock coming from the door before one of the stage managers peeks her head in.

"Capricious Capricorn? You're on in five," she says, Gamzee nodding as they stand to finish getting ready, the manager going back out to make sure the stage is ready for them.

Equius grabs a couple water bottles, Karkat and Gamzee heading to the mirror to try to fix Gamzee's makeup, Karkat fiddling with his hair with a frown. Equius stands a bit stiffly, tapping out a beat with the bottles in his hands before Karkat and Gamzee turn back around, ready to go.

 Karkat goes to grab his bass, handing Equius his drumsticks as Gamzee leans against the vanity, looking to you with a smile.

"Y'all wanna sit backstage and watch the show? There's a little couch we had set up on the side of the stage in case you guys wanna sit in?" Gamzee offers, looking to you a bit hopefully.

"Sure! We'd love to!" Aradia beams, hopping up off the couch and stooping down to haul Sollux up, sputtering indignantly as she giggles. You stand too, unable to hide your smile as you all head out toward the stage, Gamzee pointing out a pretty comfortable looking couch a few feet from the stage. You all sit, Equius going out first to sit behind the drums, cheering getting louder when they see his outline in the dark. He raises his arms, and the crowd roars, making Gamzee grin, Karkat's mouth ticked up into something as close to a smile as you've ever seen. Equius drums out a little, a couple little quick beats before starting to play, the crowd cheering when they realize what song he's playing. Karkat heads out next, going over to plug his bass in, the crowd cheering for him when they see him stand and start the bassline. They play together in the dark for a while, Gamzee standing near the stage, taking deep breaths before plugging his guitar into a chord long enough to reach him offstage and starting the opening riff, the crowd getting so loud your ears ring. He stays offstage, out of sight before finally jogging out onstage, the crowd screaming as the lights slowly get brighter, illuminating the three figures onstage as Gamzee leans toward the mic to sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Digital Love" by Daft Punk


	16. Trying to Break Your Click-Track Heart

You're beaming when you run out onto the stage, singing for the fans screaming in front of you. Your eyes slowly adjust to the bright stage lights, grinning at all the people what came to see you. Your stomach is doing excited, nervous somersaults, your hands a little sweaty as you strum along to the song. You'd missed playing live, missed seeing your fans. Missed the heat of the stage lights, missed the smiling, screaming, happy faces. It's like coming home, being back in front of the crowd. And you've been homesick for a while.

The song starts to fade out as you strum another, this one a little slower. It's from the new album, yet you can clearly hear your fans singing along as you sing for them, your smile growing even more. You'd kiss every single one of them if you could, you missed this so much.

You can't wipe the smile off your face as you go through song after song, playing your own stuff with some covers mixed in. You play and sing til your fingers ache, til your wrist hurts. You sing til you can't, take a drink, and then keep on singing.

You play for about two hours. No breaks but for the quick swig of water. You know it's near the end when Equ plays a slower, quieter beat. The lights lower, Karkat looking on over to you before looking out to the crowd again, a slight upturn of one corner of his mouth.

You swallow nervously, stepping up and saying your goodnight to the fans. They roar, and you smiled again, trying to ignore the nerves that have made a very sudden return. You can't help but look offstage toward the couch, toward Tav. You can't make out much in the shadows but you know he's there, watching closely. You turn back to the crowd.

"This one's off our new album. Thank y'all for comin out tonight," you smile, your fingers already strumming the opening of the love song you'd written. The one you wrote for Tav. You take another deep breath and lean in to sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Loretta Young Silks" by Sneaker Pimps. I've been obsessed with the song for a while now, definitely check it out


	17. I'd Break the Back of Love For You

You sit back on the velvet couch, hidden from the crowd's view by thick red curtains and dark shadows. Aradia sits beside you, one leg folded under her, grinning as she records the performance on her phone. Sollux has brought his laptop and phone, taping the concert on his phone while tapping away at his laptop. You decide not to tape anything, knowing Aradia will send the video to you later. You just sit back and watch, still eager as always to see one of your favorite bands play.

It was still odd to be here, to be friends with one of your favorite singers. It was strange to be sitting backstage instead of watching from somewhere in the crowd, or watching shaky footage after the fact. But here you were, backstage with your band, with the best seats you could possibly have, smiling as Gamzee sang for the crowd under pink and purple light with a large smile. He was in his element, looking confident and excited and happy, and it made your chest feel warm, your own smile growing fond. You pull out your phone and take a picture, grinning at the photo of Gamzee smiling as he sings, Karkat focusing on playing behind him, Equius's arms raised to continue playing. You post the picture and put your phone away again, focusing back on the concert.

Gamzee takes a pull from his water bottle, Equius tapping out a beat, Karkat strumming quietly to fill the silence. They go through at least half of their new album, with older songs and covers mixed in. Gamzee plays and sings with everything he's got, just like he always does. He runs across the stage, sings with conviction. He screams and croons and hums and entertains like no one else seems to, and you can't wipe the smile off your face. Neither can he. He looks at peace, looks so happy and glad to be there. You notice the quick glances Karkat gives him, always watching out for him, a small smile crossing his features when he watches Gamzee. Equius looks serious most of the time, though you catch a small smile on his face every now and then as he watches his bandmates from his spot behind the drums. They're all happy and at ease, and you can tell Gamzee's not the only one having fun onstage. You chuckle when Gamzee goes over to Karkat, pretending to waltz with him during a short break, Karkat rolling his eyes dramatically but unable to hide a smile.

The show goes on for about two hours, the lights dimming as Gamzee starts saying his goodbyes before the last song. Karkat and Equius play slower, quieter, as Gamzee makes his speech, thanking everyone for coming. He seems genuinely happy to see the crowd, to be here, as if he's surrounded by good friends. You notice how he fidgets slightly before saying one last goodnight, looking toward your spot on the couch before starting up the final song, one you easily recognize. It's from their new album, and it easily stands out among the rest of their set. The song is slower, quieter. It's actually one of your new favorites, and you scoot a little closer, leaning forward as Gamzee leans in to sing, eyes closed and wrists slightly stiff, the only indication that he's nervous. His voice is low and sweet and haunting, and you hear more then one high-pitched scream from the crowd as he sings sweet, beautiful words.

Your head bobs along to the beat, smile still on your face. Gamzee keeps his eyes shut through most of the song, only opening them when he stops singing, smiling at the crowd almost shyly. The smile catches you off guard, making you take pause and listen closely to his words, to his voice. You can hear the emotion, the conviction in every word. The sudden realization hits you like a punch to the gut, and you blink. This song is for someone. This song is Gamzee giving his heart to someone. Your chest does something odd, as if a small weight pushes behind your sternum just slightly. You swallow, still watching him closely, watching how soft and open his face seems, his huge grin gone, replaced by a soft smile.

Eventually the song ends, the crowd roaring loudly. Gamzee seems relieved, happy. He grins and waves to the crowd, waiting for Karkat and Equius to head up front before taking each of their hands and bowing with his bandmates. They thank everyone again, waving and smiling before heading offstage toward you. Aradia gives a little cheer, pulling them out of their thoughts, making Gamzee smile brightly. Karkat tries and fails to hide a small, satisfied smirk, Equius giving a shy smile. You grin back, both you and Aradia congratulating them on their performance before they head back to get cleaned up, a couple people from their team already heading out onto the stage to grab their instruments. Sollux loads the video onto his laptop, probably to post it later tonight. Aradia grins and talks excitedly about the performance, but you're quiet, only nodding your head and speaking when you need to. Your mind is still stuck on CC's last song, and you can't help but wonder who the song was meant for as you, Aradia, and Sollux head backstage to wait for Gamzee, Karkat, and Equius. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Post Blue" by Placebo


	18. Oh, Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of texting in this one, just a heads up. gamz is all bold, tav is typing in his quirk. gamzee was too tired to type in his quirk and so am I

The show goes off without a hitch, and as you fix your face and change into clothes less sweaty you're soaring. You're grinning ear to ear, excited and happy to go back out and greet the fans you've been missing so much. You rush to get dressed, heading out of your dressing room and down the long, dimly lit hall back to the backstage area. Aradia, Tavros, and Sollux still sit on or near the couch, talking and looking over phones and laptops. Aradia's the first to get her notice on of you, giving you a big, dimpled smile.

"Good show, Gamz," she grins, and you smile back.

"Thanks sis. Y'all ready to meet and greet some motherfuckers?"

Aradia beams and nods her head furiously, her mass of curls bouncing with the movement. Tav and Solbro both seem more preoccupied, Sollux still staring intently at his laptop and Tav seeming lost in thought, but they nod all the same. You nod yourself, grinning when you hear footsteps coming from behind you, turning to find Equius and Karkat emerging from the dim hallway to meet up with all of you.

Soon you all head out to the table set up for signing, each of you taking a seat. You end up between Tav and Karkat, smiling as the crowd starts to line up, slowly making it's way to the stage. You smile, autograph posters, signs, pictures, cds. You chat with your fans, thank them for coming. A girl with purple streaks in her hair tears up talking to you, and you scramble to get over to her, hugging her and taking selfies with her, kissing her atop the head as she goes. You'd missed this so much, missed being close to the people what love you, the people who you love. You end up hugging a lot more people too, so you just end up sitting on the edge of the table so you can reach people better. The bouncers and security and shit don't like it but you don't stop, knowing the motherfuckers here wouldn't do nothin to hurt you.

You end up at the table for quite a while, making sure to meet with everyone in line. You sign shit til your wrist cramps, give at least a hundred hugs. By the time everyone has gone through it's late. You're tired but happy, thanking everyone for coming one last time before you and everyone head back to the buses. The crowds outside scream and cheer and push forward, closing in around you. You smile and wave, grab hands as you pass before climbing back into the bus with Karkat and Equius, the door closing with a clack. It's so much quieter, voices of your fans muted from inside, and you go to the window to wave goodbye until the bus pulls away and you're back on the road.

You go to your bunk to grab clothes while Equius showers, running a hand through damp, sweaty curls with a grimace. You get into the shower as soon as Equ's out, washing away the sweat and glitter and leaving you warm and exhausted. You climb out of the tiny, steam-filled bathroom and head to your bunk, flopping face-first into the pillow, making sure not to slam your head into the bunk above you on the way down. You close your eyes with a groan, glad to have some time to rest. You shut your eyes, only meaning to rest em a while, but you're asleep before you know it.

-

You wake to nothing but black. Someone pulled the curtain of your bunk closed while you slept, which you appreciate. You feel around the general area you dropped your phone before you crashed, finding it under your pillow. You pull it out and check the time. 3:27am.

You flop back down, muffling a tired groan in the pillow. Don't wanna wake everyone else. You pull the curtain back quietly, slipping out into the hall to go pee and grab something to eat, padding back to your bunk with a sandwich. You climb back in and eat, turning your phone back on to find some notifications. You unlock the screen and open Instagram, finding a hell of a lot of new videos and pics with you in em from a few hours before. You smile, looking over them before noticing you have a new text from Tav. You grin and quickly open it.

 **Tav♡** hEY GAMZ. jUST WANTED TO SAY THAT THIS FIRST SHOW WAS SO FUN. i WAS REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT IT, bUT IT WAS SO FUN, AND IT WENT A LOT BETTER THEN i THOUGHT IT WOULD  
aND i JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LETTING US PLAY WITH YOU GUYS. i'M STILL BLOWN AWAY THAT WE'RE HERE, IT'S SO AMAZING  
sO, THANK YOU. fROM ALL OF US

Your heart warms as you finish reading. You still remember when you first met Tav, back before the tour. It's odd to think not so long ago, you didn't even know this motherfucker existed. You smile as you tap out your reply.

 **it's no problem man. we're all kinds of happy to be doin this shit with y'all**  
**it's more fun tourin with motherfuckers you know, and y'all are friends**  
**who wouldn't wanna be doin this shit with their friends?**  
**but i'm all kinds of glad that we met you, man**  
**i'm glad we all get to be doin this together**

You smile, exiting out of the conversation and going back to scrolling through videos and pictures of the show. Soon your phone gives a soft hum, vibrating in your hand. You're more then a little surprised to find a new text from Tav.

 **Tav♡** mE TOO }:)

You smile, tapping out a response with a grin.

 **hey now, why ain't you asleep motherfucker?**  
**Tav♡** i'M NOT SURE? i GUESS I'M JUST STILL EXCITED FROM THE SHOW  
**makes sense**  
**i crashed as soon as i took a shower. just woke up to eat**  
**Tav♡** yEAH, yOU MUST HAVE BEEN TIRED  
i ALWAYS LIKED YOUR PERFORMANCES  
hOW ENERGETIC THEY ARE? yOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A LOT OF FUN  
**yeah, ain't no reason not to be havin fun when i'm up there**  
**plus it's more fun for the motherfuckers watching**  
**wouldn't wanna be borin em or nothin**  
**Tav♡** i DON'T THINK YOU COULD DO THAT IF YOU TRIED  
**aww, i'm all kinds of glad to be hearin that, motherfucker :o)**  
**but it's gettin pretty motherfuckin late, or early**  
**i'm gonna have to let you get some sleep**  
**Tav♡** yEAH, gOOD CALL  
i'LL TALK TO YOU LATER  
nIGHT GAMZ  
oR, mORNING, tECHNICALLY }:)  
**good morning tav :o)**

You set your phone back down with a grin, finishing off your food and sliding back out into the hall to throw your plate away before climbing back into bed, closing the curtain again behind you. You smile as you shut your phone back off and set it at the top corner of your bunk before burrowing under the sheets, quickly falling back to sleep with a smile on your face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get" by Morrissey


	19. Well, That's Just My Luck

The next venue is even bigger, and as you step out in the alley behind the place you grin. You still can't quite believe all this is happening. It's always been a dream to play live shows, to meet the people that got you started making music. Now you're on tour with one of your idols, and honestly you don't know how you can express how grateful you are to Gamzee and the others. You'd probably be their personal butler if they asked, you're so grateful. You step into the boxy building, following a couple guys from CC's stage crew. Sollux follows close behind, eager to look over the lighting, fog machines, and everything technical. Aradia rolls her eyes with a smile as Sollux questions the tech guys on programs and visuals. You're lost in the conversation so you ignore it for the most part, standing down in the empty pit as they get up on the stage and start up the lights they'd set up for your setlist.

You watch, imagining yourself and the others onstage as the lights go out at the beginning, room pitch black. Aradia stands beside you with an eager smile, wooping as the curtains open, the lights rising slowly. She moves her hands, miming a quick solo on her cymbals that makes you huff out a laugh as you turn your attention back to the lights, your music playing through the speakers to give you a sense of when the lights change throughout the songs. It's all very professional and cool as hell, and you're beaming as you imagine the show. It makes you even more excited to play. Apparently there's a pretty good fanbase for your own band in this area, which surprised you when you heard about it. You're a couple states away from home but they still know your songs and actually like you. You find yourself biting your lip, nerves and excitement for the show sending your stomach twisting with anticipation. You thank the guys when the light show is done, Sollux staying back to fiddle with it and make sure it's the way it should be before you and Aradia head to the bus to eat and get ready.

-

It's pitch black as you wait for the show to start, a smile on your face as you wait for the curtains to open. You have a good feeling about this show, the fans cheering loudly as they wait in the pitch black. You feel the air shift as the curtains open, the cheering louder without the buffer the curtain gave you. It's still pitch black, no one seeming to realize the curtains are open yet. Soon Aradia breaks the quiet, cutting through the cheering with her cymbals, making the fans roar. Your grin stretches a little farther, and you pause to take a deep breath, hands gripping the mic before throwing yourself forward as you spit out the lyrics for the first song, lights flashing on just as you lean forward to sing, the drums and bass kicking in behind you. The crowd roars, thrashing and moshing as you sing the punk song, spitting the words like venom with a sharp, quick tongue. You toss your head back, your mohawk flipping back out of your face before you lean forward again to sing.

You go through the first couple songs without a hitch, pausing to take a pull from your water bottle as Aradia drums out a quick beat. You pull your guitar off your shoulder, holding it by the neck as you head back to the mic to address the crowd.

"Hey guys! Thank you all for coming out. I heard, there was a pretty big fanbase out here?" You beam as the crowd roars in confirmation, and you nod your head. "Alright. So I was hoping to get a little closer to you all," you pause, the screaming of the fans deafening. You wait until the noise goes down enough to speak again. "So to do that, I'm gonna need some help. From you guys and from our friend, Karkat!" 

The crowd roars again as Karkat comes out, throwing a hand up toward the crowd before heading to you and taking your guitar, settling it on his shoulder as he adjusts the strap a little. "Give it up to my lovely assistant, Karkat Vantas!" you grin, motioning to Karkat with both hands like Vanna White. He visibly sighs, glowering at you as you grin like the little shit you are before turning back to the crowd.

"I'm also gonna need your guys' help. Have you guys ever heard of crowd walking?" More loud cheering, and you grin as you wait for them to settle before speaking again.

"Alright, for those of you who don't know, I'll be heading over here," you say, pointing toward the left of front row. "And the security guy there, Dan, will help me up. I'll be lifted up, and it's up to all you guys to keep me up, alright? So you guys will be holding my feet and ankles as I move through the crowd," you explain, pointing out your path as you go on. "Start there at front left, go all the way back, go up toward front-middle, down to the back right, and then stop over there at front-right near the stage. Okay?" 

The crowd cheers again and you grin, giving a nod as you put the mic with the chord back on the stand, grabbing the chordless one and heading toward Dan, a burly security guard that's been helping with your shows for a while now. He grabs you around the waist, carrying you to the arms reaching toward you from the other side of the barrier. Aradia beats out the rhythm, Sollux and Karkat soon throwing themselves into the fast-paced punk song as you are pulled to the crowd, wobbling  a little before settling over the fans, their hands holding you firmly by the feet and ankles as you belt out the cover, slowly making your way toward the back.

"I will never wanna date you while I can learn to hate you. If you somehow learn to love me, well, that's just my luck!"

You're steadily making your way to the back, trying to ignore the wobbling and the rolling of your stomach.

"I would never care if you only wanted my friendship but somehow you're disappointed that I'm not a slut!"

You're turned toward the front again, standing straight up as you move more steadily toward the front again.

"I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you," you take a quick breath, throwing a middle finger high as the crowd screams around you. "So fuck you!"

You ignore the hands roaming up your calves, settling on the muscles straining to keep you up as you sing, turning and heading toward the back again.

"In my mind there is no doubt that you've been in and out of many different backseats, many times before. I can always see your defeat when I won't leave the front seat. And it seems you're disappointed that I'm not a whore!"

You're heading toward the back when you start sinking slightly, hands easily reaching your thighs, pushing up your shirt. You ignore them, taking another step up. You ignore the hands grabbing you, swatting at a hand that grabs at your ass as you take another step toward the back.

"I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you, so fuck you!"

The people at the back corner are much better, keeping you upright without too much fondling besides the occasional grab at your calves as you turn and head back toward the front again.

"I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you. I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna fuck you, so fuck you!"

The crowd carries you all the way to the front, Dan coming around to pick you up and set you back onstage just before you finish the song.

"I don't wanna fuck you. I don't wanna fuck you. I don't wanna fuck you, so fuck you!"

The crowd roars as you scream out the last word, hunching over the mic as you howl. You stand again, flipping your slightly sweaty mohawk out of your face again with a wide smile. The crowd cheers and you can't wipe the grin off your face, heading over to pass off the chordless mic to one of the sound guys and getting your guitar back from Karkat, settling it back on your shoulder before gesturing to Karkat with a smile. The crowd cheers as he waves again before heading offstage, and you stop to take a quick drink before leaning toward the mic again to start the next song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title and song lyrics from "Cruise Control" by AFI

**Author's Note:**

> the title was taken from the song I Wanna Be Your Dog by The Stooges


End file.
